Hope Filled with Empty Dreams
by Lexnai
Summary: "I can't make you happy Ichigo. You should leave me for someone else. It's gonna kill me one day but yet you chose to stay with me... why?" (AU AND OCC)
1. Prologue

**WARNING(PLEASE READ): I warn ya guys, this isn't gonna be a unicorns and sunshines type of Fanfiction, it's gonna be sad and angst. Just an early stage warning. I did some research for this story, so forgive me if I state something wrong. I ain't a doctor; only a mere student**

 **AU AND OCC**

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 _Three a.m August 15, 2015_

I still remember that day and the happiness and fear that took over me that time. Mrs. Kurosaki; married to me for three years and happily settled down. As the clock striked three at midnight, I felt a foot kick my leg as the bed creaked and felt the mattress bounce softly because of the lost weight. I sleepily blinked my eyes as I followed Rukia towards the bathroom.

I heard her gag and saw her leaning over the toilet and kneeling.

We have been trying to have kids for a while and it wasn't an easy task. The doctors also stated that it would be hard to be pregnant for Rukia, but still I didn't lose hope. Even if Rukia declared that I should meet someone else that'll give me children and more happiness, I stayed. The only reason why is because I know that I wouldn't find my happiness without her. My past relationship with a girl named Inoue Orihime didn't turn out as well as I thought but we happily agreed that we could still stay as friends. That's when I met Rukia. Inoue introduced me to her at a meeting one day and I fell head over heels for her. It was a wonderful feeling when it was mutual.

Snapping back to reality I quickly ran towards Rukia, holding her hair as she emptied her stomach. I whispered soothing words into her ear and felt one of her hand squeeze my arm. Suddenly I felt her gasp softly and her grasp on my arm weakened. I moved towards the right to see what was wrong and my heart dropped at the sight.

 _Blood._

The bile wasn't from the food Rukia made last night, it was blood. Blood probably mixed with a little bit of food but there was more blood. "Rukia..." I whispered with horror filling my face. She turned her head towards her and I saw a line of blood trailing down the side of her mouth. She quickly stood up and pushed me away while doing so as she shakily walked towards the drawers. She hesitated before opening the top drawer and taking out a pregnancy stick from a box. I stared at her with sorrow as she stared back with emotionless eyes.

"Wait outside; I want to be alone for now" I complied to her order and slowly walked out of the door and closing it softly. I heard a whimper inside of the bathroom and my heart broke. Rukia wasn't someone to break down easily; she was strong headed and confident. Hearing her cry made my stomach drop and tears filled my eyes but I blinked them away and sat on the bed. I grabbed my phone and called the emergency room since our doctor would be asleep.

"Ah, hello? My name is Kurosaki Ichigo and I have some questions" I listened to the speaker tell me a few things and I nodded my head even though he couldn't see me.

" _Ok, what can I help you with?"_

 _"_ My wife... she's been throwing up for awhile right now starting from the morning. We... we thought it was morning sickness but when we looked... it was filled with blood" I explained as I heard him write something down.

" _Any other symptoms you noticed before this, sir?"_

"She would get easily tired and sometimes bloated. She even lost some weight and we questioned it. We had a thought that she might be pregnant but we decided to wait until the afternoon of today" I explained and heard him scribble things down again.

" _Sir... we're not sure what it really is and you'll get to know exactly what the problem is tomorrow at the hospital but-"_

I heard Rukia come out and tears streaked down her face.

 _"We have a catch that-"_

Rukia walked towards me and showed me the stick and it only had one line.

 **One line.**

" _She can either be pregnant, or she might have stomach cancer"  
_

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 **Ahaha...ha... ha...(?)... I know this is a bad way of ending this but this is the prologue and I hope this interests some people?**

 **For the people who are waiting for the next updates on the other stories, I'm sorry! I'll get right on it when I get my life back in line again... but don't worry, it'll happen.**

 **Thanks guys and R &R if you'd like and I hope to see you again in the next one! **


	2. Chapter 1

**Wow it's been too long.**

 **What's up everyone? How's everyone been? I don't have much of an excuse except for one:**

 **Applying for colleges fucking suck.**

 **P.S.** _italics are flashbacks or their thoughts._

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 _ **3 years ago, October 23, 2012**_

"Bride, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? To love him and comfort him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do"

After those lines the crowd began to cheer and quickly settled down as the preacher cleared his throat and turned towards Ichigo.

"Groom, do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? To protect her and love her for as long as you both shall live?"

"Hell yeah"

His response resulted in some laughs and the wife swiftly sending him a kick to the face. Even the preacher let out a chuckle before continuing his verses, "Then I present you, husband and wife". Before Rukia could continue her beating, he quickly grabbed her and kissed her hard as the crowd stood up and cheered loudly. From the right corner, you could see the Isshin bawling and Masaki softly consoling him as he wiped his tears with a handkerchief. Yuzu also bawled as she hugged Karin tightly while Karin just smirked and clapped with the crowd. On the left, you could see Hisana and Byakuya sitting as Hisana slowly wiped her tears and smiled at Byakuya as he let out a small smile and quietly clapped along.

"Ready everyone?" Rukia turned around to see everyone crowding around her as she held her bouquet of roses. She smiled at Karin who blushed and turned her face away from Rukia as she threw the bouquet in the air and it...

hastily... landed in...

... Karin's hands.

Toshiro who was next her turned bright red as Karin turned towards him and they both gaped at each other. After a while, Karin threw the bouquet at his face and stomped on his foot, "Baka! Say something, you jerk!" She ran out the door and after recovering, Toshiro hunted down her trail with the bouquet strongly clenched in his hands. Rukia laughed and gave Yuzu a high five while Ichigo seethed and his 'overly protective brother' instincts kicked in.

"Fool, let Karin have her moment" Rukia half joking scolded as she pulled him into another kiss

 _ **Present**_

Ichigo stared at the clock at the waiting room of the hospital as it stared back at him while reading 3 _:32 a.m._ He frustratingly rubbed his face and stared at the couple in front of him. The man lovingly cradled his wife while she rubbed her swollen stomach. His heart dropped as the wife raised her face and smiled at her husband. He whispered something into her ear and she laughed softly. That was what he was suppose to do. He should be hugging Rukia tightly and whispering loving words into her ear while they waited for the results. Together. Yet, she's alone in the doctor's office and suffering by her own. Why? Because she wanted to hear the news first before she wanted Ichigo to join her. After three years of marriage was this how much she trusted him? Does she... not want him to be by her side anymore?  
Ichigo shook his head and tears dropped down from his eyes. No, he mustn't be so negative. Maybe she didn't want him to suffer as much. Maybe... she wants to carry the burden by herself... afraid that he might leave her.

" _I can't make you happy Ichigo. You should leave me for someone else. It's gonna kill me one day but yet you chose to stay with me... why?_ "

He remembered those words from her after the call to the emergency room. She didn't want him to suffer. She didn't want to take away his life just because of her illness.

" _Leaving you will be a harder burden. We can go through this together. Who knows. maybe you'll get lucky"_

His response to her was optimistic but even he wasn't sure if the words were comforting him or her. All he knew was that it was a fake sense of encouragement to him. Deep down he knew he didn't believe those words.

"Fuck" He punched the wall his back was being supported by, and it alarmed the couple in front him. Realizing what he did, he sent an apologetic smile and the husband brought his wife closer to him. Ichigo slowly frowned as the wife wouldn't make eye contact with him. ' _Disgusting._ ' He thought to himself. ' _To think that a person like myself was awaiting for a child. I'm so pathetic.'_ The door softly opened as itrevealed the doctor with a clipboard hugged closely to her. She motioned for Ichigo to come in and he quickly stood up and was ushered in. The first and only thing that caught his eyes were Rukia's bloodshot red eyes. Her usual beautiful amethyst eyes were now hollow and dark. The doctor closed the door and sat on a chair before setting her eyes on the couple.

"Hello Mr. Kurosaki. As you may know, my name is Dr. Fuji and allow me to reveal the basics of your wife's... condition." The doctor slowly started out as she flipped the papers in the clipboard until she reached her desired piece. Her eyes consciously concentrated on the couple and place the clipboard behind her. "Your wife has gastrointestinal stromal tumor. I'm surprised she didn't have any more symptoms other than vomiting out blood. The tumor is the size of my fist here" She showed them her fist and Ichigo's pessimistic thoughts started to knock in again.

"Unfortunately, her stage is at IB. Her survival rate... is 58 percent and that is still a big rate so it is not to be worried yet. The problem is, the surgery is a fast way to treat her but it can cause a higher rate of death. However Chemotherapy, unfortunately, will cause more pain and will be slower but will keep the cancer contained." She explained as Ichigo shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"We-" The two stopped abruptly when they both answered in sync. Rukia turned her head away from him and Ichigo sighed heavily before facing the doctor. "We'd like to try the Chemotherapy". Rukia turned her head towards him in alarm and eyes as wide as plates.

"You... what?" She whispered as her eyes filled with pain. Ichigo almost backed out but he shook his head slowly and answered, "We want Chemotherapy... I don't want to risk her life with surgery" He didn't face the doctor while saying this, but slowly reached for Rukia's hands and pulled her into his lap.

"Baka!" She screamed as she pushed him away and stood up. "You know what you're asking for? Why don't we completely try to get rid of it instead of _containing_ it and possibly becoming bigger." She continued as she cried openly. Ichigo turned his head away from her. He couldn't stand it when she cried. She never cried in front him or others.

"I don't want to risk it. What if you died?" He whispered softly as he felt a tear racing down his face. The doctor cleared her throat and opened the door.

"Perhaps... you can discuss this with your wife and come back tomorrow?"

"Ichigo! Do you know what your saying? Why don't we just try? Do you not trust the doctors?" Rukia screamed as Ichigo shut his door and started the car. "You said you wanted children... do you think I don't want any? I want one! Better yet, many more! But what can we do with this tumor? Think about it, you fool!". Ichigo precipitously stopped on the middle of the road. Thankfully, there weren't any cars around since it was still early, way early in the morning.

"Did you even hear what I said at the doctor's office? I can't lose you Rukia! Why don't we try Chemotherapy first and then when it become a safe size we can-"

"What if it doesn't?" Her comment stopped him from continuing and the car became a deathly quiet place. Behind them, Ichigo heard a car coming towards him and he slowly started to drive again.

When they arrived at the house, Rukia opened the door and quickly ran towards the house. Ichigo watched her as he turned out the engines and covered his face with his hands.

 _"Ichigo, what would you name our child?" Her sudden question made him spurt out his drink and cough violently. Rukia ran towards him and patted his back. "Baka! Was that really an unexpected question? We're trying, ya know" She quietly commented as Ichigo swiftly hugged her and carried her towards the bed. She squealed as he started to kiss up her neck._

 _"What would I name our child? Well, assuming it will be a girl, I'd name her Aiko" He replied as he kissed her gently. She smiled and stared at him lovingly._

 _"... and if it were a boy?"_

 _He smirked, "Daichi... because I know he'll be filled with wisdom"_

He punched the wheel which led out a loud honk that echoed through the morning. He wiped his face and was surprised to see his hands were wet. He quickly wiped his face with his shirt and entered the house with a hollow heart. He walked in the room to see Rukia lying down on the bed with her face streaked with tears. He softly sat down on the bed and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry... babe but I can't lose you. Please, can't you trust me on this one?" He whispered as his voice cracked on the last word. He suddenly felt Rukia's hand cover his and met her eyes.

"Convince me" She answered hoarsely. "Convince me that I'm wrong".

Ichigo slowly climbed on top of her and stared down with determined eyes. "I love you" He whispered with a strong voice that didn't match his tear soaked face. Rukia closed her eyes and quietly whispered those three words back. "And always"

"So... the final choice?" The doctor asked as Ichigo squeezed Rukia's hand and they stared at each other for a minute.

"Chemotherapy"

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 **Wow... I must be really depressed these days xD**

 **Well finally an update, eh? Hope you enjoyed. HOPEFULLY I'll see you lovies soon.**


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